I went to a trial recently. It was a big trial, one I had prepared for, planned for, trained for. I had hopes. I had expectations. And then when the trial actually arrived, and it was time to perform, I had disappointments.
It is often hard to get over these disappointments, especially when so much work has been put into it.
I had to reach deep for some coping mechanisms, and remind myself that I am a mature adult, not a spoiled child, and as such, I absolutely know that this is the nature of life: no matter how much time and effort and planning you put in, things do not necessarily go as you wish them to.
And I know I am not alone in this. I think many of us feel the sting of NQs very keenly. So I thought I would share some tips on how to cope when the failures are getting to you.
- Stay off Facebook. Looking at everyone’s happy braggy posts about the titles and placements earned is just taking the fast-track to the self pity swamp. If you really feel socially obligated, or you have friends who need support, you can do a quick round of “Congrats! Well done” comments and then get off the computer!
- Write out a list of things that actually went right. It doesn’t matter how small those things are. Maybe you remembered to go back and check an area that you had missed; maybe you remembered to call finish, or to stop at the start line and take a good look at the area before you launched into the search. It’s SO important to acknowledge the little improvements. A few months ago I went to an NW3 where we failed several searches, and I was feeling very down about it until I did a debriefing for myself, and made a list of the things that went wrong and the things that went right. The list of “right” things was actually fairly long, and I felt much better about the whole event when I was done writing everything out.
- Take a break from training scent work. Skip class. Go to a local park and take a hike and unwind, let your dog do some off-leashing recreational sniffing.
- Talk it out with someone safe. Maybe not someone who was at the trial, but someone who understands your disappointment and can lend an empathetic ear, without judgement.
- Step back and look at the bigger picture: this is a game that we play to have fun with our dogs. We are not curing cancer. We are not trying out for the Olympics.
- Do something that you really enjoy with your dog that is NOT sniffing. You need to get some positive emotion going in order to get over disappointment. I like to find a place to swim my dogs, or let them help me dig in the garden. I enjoy the digging, they enjoy the digging, we are out in the sunshine and fresh air, and everything feels better. Some people like to go to FASTCATs. Whatever it is, make a plan and go do it.
- Realize that EVERYONE, even the most experienced and skillful competitors have bad weekends, where they don’t pass anything. In this era of perfect Facebook posts , it is very easy to forget that. And everyone is riding the rollercoaster of emotions that go along with scent work, whether they will admit it or not.
- Also realize that no one is paying attention to your failures. Mostly everyone is focusing on their own dogs and their own successes and struggles. So shake off that social anxiety and revel in the fact that your “failures” don’t matter to anyone except you.
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